May 13, 2010

Why did we wait?

Posted in Baby, Family at 11:54 pm by Jennifer

I was thinking earlier about how Michael and I waited five years to have Lily.  Five years!  That is a really long time to wait to have a baby.  True, I was dawning on my 22nd-year when we tied the knot, but that is a long time.  I just wasn’t ready.  I decided that I wanted to wait and work for a few years.  I wanted to travel and buy a house, blah, blah, blah…

Well, we bought the house.  We paid off all of our debt, and we even got our emergency savings built up.  I worked in a lab for four years as a lab technician (I went to school for Ceramic Engineering…I didn’t even work in the same field as my degree), which was an okay job.  We went on a cruise and a vacation to Gulf Shores, AL.  I got to go on a mission trip to Mali and Haiti.

When I look at my sweet baby girl, who is snoozing in her swing, it makes me wonder why.  She is absolutely precious – just a joy to my heart.  I worked in a job that I didn’t really like that much so that I could buy things.  Things that don’t compare to what we have in Lily.  We sold the house and lost almost $20,000 on it, and now we are saving from scratch for another house.  Yet, I still get to stay home.  Savings are slower, but I get to be home.  I never miss a minute with my precious one.

I don’t necessarily regret waiting itself, just the reasons for our waiting.  If you feel God leading you to wait to have children, that is between you and Him.  I fear that we waited out of selfishness and fear.  Not worth it.

May 12, 2010

The Post Mom-in-Law Blues

Posted in Family, Stay-at-home mom struggles at 6:43 pm by Jennifer

My wonderful mother-in-law was here the last few days, and unfortunately, she had to leave this morning.  I had such a great time with her.  She went to our baby dedication and small group bbq on Sunday, to the mall and watched Lily on Monday, and to the zoo yesterday.  It was fun!

Now, I’m kind of down.  Its hard being alone after having someone here for several days in a row.  Especially so when Glenda is one of those women who love to talk.  She talks so much, and its pleasant.  Lily doesn’t talk so much.  To her credit, she is only four months old and takes a ton of naps.  Not quite the same thing.

I would call one of my friends to hang out this afternoon, but I need to get things done around the house.  Neglect tends to happen when we have family down, and now, it is my turn to get things caught up (I’m not really very good at keeping things caught up when we don’t have family to visit).   <sigh>   I think I’m going to try and get together with someone later this week.

I’m not the only one who experience this, right?  I know that stay-at-home moms struggle.  I’ve only been one since October, and these struggles are a constant up and down battle.  I know that I’ll be okay…just right now, I’m a little down.  In an hour or two, I will be fine.  Especially after I have my coffee, which I just finished brewing.  🙂